Anticipation

It's two days until Chloe's surgery.  It seems like everything is falling into place.  I have had numerous phone calls from Cook's Hospital getting all the details arranged:  pre-registration, insurance and pre-op. Tomorrow they will call to notify us of our arrival time.  Our nanny will be helping with Caleb Thursday night and getting him to school on Friday.  Also, Caleb has some awesome friends who are going to come and pick him up to play on Saturday to give him a break.  Thanks Reese and Greg!

Caleb is very concerned about Chloe and her upcoming surgery.  When I picked Caleb up from school today he seemed a little depressed. I asked him what was wrong and he said nothing but continued to be sad. I asked him if something happened at school and he said no. Then with tears in his eyes he told me he was sad about Chloe's surgery. He said she was perfect the way she was and he did not want her to have surgery. He was worried about her being in pain and I told him we would give her pain medication which I think made him feel better. He was truly upset. We were at Target, so I suggested he buy her a gift to take to her in the hospital and I think that made him feel better too. What a sensitive boy.  He loves his sister very deeply. 

So I guess the next time I post her surgery will be done.  We can't wait to see her new smile!

One Month Anniversary

Today is our one month anniversary for getting Chloe.  It is hard to believe it has only been one month.  She continues to do great.  She is adjusting to our family and life in the USA at remarkable speed.  I think the thing that amazes me the most is how much English she is understanding.  She is still not saying any words, but she is understanding what we are saying.  Kevin and I just look at each other in amazement.  Are we going to have to start spelling things that we don't want her to know?  She is also doing normal toddler things.  She has learned to nod yes and no.  The other day she was going to put some play coins in her mouth and I said "No, we do not put those in our mouth."  She looked at me with a smirk and put the coins closer to her mouth like she was going to put them in there and was nodding no.  She knew exactly what I was saying and she was trying to push the limit just like every other toddler.  Little stinker!  She is also really great at mimicking which is the way she is learning a lot too.  A cute new thing is her praying.  At dinner we will tell her it is time to say a prayer and we bow our heads and clasp our hands.  Then while eating dinner, she gets a beautiful smile on her face, clasps her hands together and bows her head.  So sweet.  We hope that she will grow up to love the Lord.  She continues to LOVE Bailey.  She loves to feed her, play with her and of course lay on her.  Chloe also absolutely loves to be outside.  I am looking forward to Fall when we can spend a little more time out there without dying in the heat. 

Her surgery is still on track for Thursday morning.  The ENT said she would need tubes.  They are also going to do a hearing test during that time which I am glad about.  So all seems to be moving smoother than ever anticipated.  Praise God!    

More Photos

Chloe's first lollipop.  She loved it!

Swinging with Big Brother

Having a blast at the park

She just loves Bailey.  We see this everyday

So happy

She wore that bow in her hair all day

Having fun

Precious

Making a craft

Chloe's Surgery

Chloe's surgery is scheduled for next week on Thursday September 1st.  This date was much sooner than we had anticipated, which is both a blessing and quite frightening at the same time.  I guess any time would be difficult.  I continue to struggle if this is too soon given that she has not even been with us a month yet; but, the doctor really wanted to do the surgery as soon as possible before she started talking.  She continues to babble more and more so perhaps the timing is right.  They were able to get us in quickly with an ear nose and throat specialist.  We see the ENT tomorrow afternoon.  The ENT will determine if she needs tubes in her ears.  That doctor is also available to do surgery on September 1st.  So if she does need tubes, it will all be done at the same time.  It is a huge relief to know that she will only have one anesthesia.  I continue to worry about the post op period with the pureed food and arm splints (because that is what all good mothers do is worry)  I'm sure just like everything else, she will amaze us with her adaptability.  So, I should stop worrying and start thinking of some great pureed dishes that she cannot live without!

Dad and Chloe continue to bond.  Last night I decided that Kevin needed to put her to bed.  There was a little fussing/crying, but he was successful.  Kevin found out that she did not want him to rock her so he put her in her crib, she fussed a bit and then fell fast asleep.  Caleb was saying that he thought I should put her to bed at night because he does not like it when Chloe cries.  How sweet.

Now to some personal thoughts...  This journey continues to amaze me.  I worried before we had Chloe about loving an adopted child the same as a biological child.  I know that may sound a little crazy, but since we had never been through this, I didn't know if I would.  When one of the potential domestic adoptions came up and then fell through, I was heart broken and very sad.  The love I developed in a short time for that child was so powerful.  That experience made me realize that I could and would love an adopted child as much as I love Caleb.  Now that Chloe is here, it seems silly that I even thought those things.  The immense love I feel for her overwhelms me.  God is amazing.  He puts on our hearts to adopt a child and then equips us with the unconditional love that a child needs, the same way he equips a mother who is pregnant.  Awesome!  The other thing I sort of fretted about was adopting an older child.  In the past I have made judgments on other people who adopted older children.  I felt sad for those people because I felt like they had missed out on some crucial time since they had not adopted their child as an infant.  Knowing that with an international adoption we would not get an infant, this was something I had to come to terms with.  But now that I have lived this, I feel like I have known Chloe all her life.  It's amazing to me how it seems like she has been with us all along.  Sure, we didn't see her first smile, or laugh or cry or the first time she crawled or ate cereal for the first time, but none of that seems to matter now.  I don't miss the things we did not get to experience.  Our experience starts now and I can't imagine how it could be any better.  So no one feel bad for me, I am truly content and would not want things any other way.

Chloe and Daddy

Today was a great day for Chloe and Daddy. Chloe was interacting and playing great with Kevin today.  I really wanted to take a nap and so Kevin and Chloe spent time together without me.  They played in her room and went to the park.  She was laughing and playing and did great.  Then later in the day, a very positive thing happened.  I was holding Chloe and then Kevin took her from me and she did not fuss!  Wow, that may be a first.  She has let him hold her before but usually she fusses a bit especially if I am standing right there.  Not this time.  I think she is falling in love with him.   It's about time.

We have gotten some of the test results from the pediatrician's evaluation of Chloe.  We found out that she has giardia, an easily treated gastrointestinal infection.  So she will need to take some medications for that.  We have completed her antibiotics for her ear infection.  Everything else has been negative.  We'll let you know if we find out anything else.

Recent Photos

Chloe and Bailey are becoming best buds

She loves to swim

First chore: feeding Bailey

She loves wearing big brother's shoes

My two precious angels

First day of school

Having fun at the park

Having fun at the park

Watch out, Bailey might eat you!

Back to Work

So today was my first day back to work.  I am planning to work 2 days a week for the next couple of weeks and then return full time after Labor Day.  I thought this might be a way to ease back into working full time.  Back when I made my schedule to return 2 days a week, I wasn't really thinking that she would only have been with us a little more than 3 weeks before I went back to work.  As this day has been approaching, I have felt fairly apprehensive about leaving.  This was my first real time away from her, minus running an errand while she napped.  I am definitely not an expert on attachment and bonding, so I am not really sure what the appropriate period of time should be in this situation, but I bet the books don't say 3 weeks. I worried that she may think her mother has now abandoned her (again).  But she did great and didn't cry at all while I was gone.  What an answer to prayer.  She is such an adaptable child.  It is truly amazing given her life's circumstances. And now it makes me feel better that Chloe knows that I may not be around all the time, but that I will come back.  What a relief.  I think it will make going back to work tomorrow much easier. 

I can honestly say that going back to work with her was easier than with Caleb.  With Caleb, I worried so much that my child would not think that I loved him because I worked.  I think I carried around some of the working mom guilt.  I will never forget our nanny reassuring me on that first day that he would always know and love his mother and I have carried that with me even to this day.  I guess I know now that being a working mother does not have to scar your children.  Boy, sometimes I wish I knew then what I know now.  So there is some relief to know that Chloe will hopefully know that her mother loves her regardless if I am here day and night.

Caleb started back to school on Wednesday.  So life here is in full swing.  I was kind of proud of myself Tuesday night and Wednesday morning.  Kevin was at a meeting and I got 2 kids bathed and to bed by 8 pm on Tuesday.  Then Wednesday morning I got 2 kids up and got Caleb ready for school.  I realize people do this every day and with more children, but I haven't and it felt good that we could do all that and be to school on time. Back pat for Kim (at least in my book).  And I give props to any families who do this every day with multiple children!